healtcare PSA

My friend wanted to respond to that FunnyorDie PSA concerning health insurance execs so we got together and made a little PSA of our own.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJ9Te1XP8RM

for posterity.

But from now on...

I saw Wicked tonight in Seattle. What a fabulous show! the two leads were unforgettable. I had a great time and was feeling very light on my feet back to the parking garage, until I saw the broken glass sprayed everywhere from my front passenger side window.

bummer.

I gotta admit I was only a little upset. It looked like the would be thief had hastily smashed the window and only took time to investigate the glove compartment. I'd left everything valuable in the trunk. I felt good about at least taking that precaution. Nothing had been taken. And I did have my camera and all my CD's in there. I made phone calls to the police and my insurance company. I expect I'll get everything taken care of by Monday. I even found a fiver in the parking lot next to my spot. God just letting me know he's still watching out for me, even though He sees fit to test my faith in Him every once in a while.

I'm just about a month away from starting terminal leave. I'm on track to leave for Japan shortly after. I'll be there until mid-November and then in Korea until mid-December. I'm really looking forward to getting away for a while. I need to be alone. Seeing my friends will be great but I'm really looking forward to getting some perspective on my life and letting go of my military existence. It's been a wonderfully full experience these past 4 years. Now it's time to use what I've learned on something I'm passionate about. Actually, a few things I'm passionate about.

I'm ready to speak out and take a stand. It's time to put away fear and rest in the peace that's available to me for the taking from the God that is more than enough. It's time to be a leader and to give myself the credit I deserve.

I know I have mental limits. I'm not talking about academics but athletics. It used to be that I was afraid of the pain so I wouldn't push myself as hard. Now it's something different. Some part of me doesn't want to be great. Some part of me doesn't want to be the best at what I attempt. I think I've lost the competitive spirit. I don't have a burning desire to push myself to my limits. I feel like I'm living a life of quiet desperation. I'm asking myself why I don't care and what I can do about it. Some part of me has given up. How can I get that part back again?

I know I can beat Morgan if I really drive myself hard. But I don't and afterward I feel disappointed. I know I could have done better. How do I defeat the temptation to quit in my heart and mind when it arrives? No matter what happens I have to beat it. It's vital to everything in the rest of my life, for the rest of my life.

(No more settling for second. No more taking to easy route. No more giving up half way. No more half done tasks.)

No more selfishness and self pity.

It's time to dream again.

Where is my passion?

(I can have joy in the midst of struggle)

I will be joyful in the midst of my struggle.

I am disciplined.

I will no longer quench my spirit.

Just a quick check in. I'm about 7 months away from getting out of the military. Still going to try and audition for Cirque Du Soleil when I get out. Work is piling up. I've started writing three pages every morning but I have yet to reach the third page. Having trouble getting up in the morning. Not that I'm tired (but I always kind of am). I've recently been shedding old habits and now I'm on a mission to replace them with good ones. One bad habit being an automatic self-pity reaction to ALMOST ANYTHING negative that happens to me, even the possibility of something negative. I'm really on God for this one as well as the others and it's working out, slowly but surely.

Going to continue the War journals. I think it's important to write down my thoughts before events are too far gone. One thing though, people are constantly amazed and disbelieving when I tell them that I had a great time over in Iraq. Is it really that hard to believe? I don't think my kind of story has been told yet. I'll get right on that.

not much on the small business side. Life is busy and I'm going to have to practice carving out time to devote to growing my team. It's simple, but hard.

I dont know how the counter protest is going to turn out but I have to go. What's the next step? I can't just keep going to protests. It isn't enough. How do I effect people?

Lord, help me to finish my time in the Army well.

Jenn came by Memorial Day weekend. It was so wild having someone from before my time in the Army come into my life now. She reminded me of my future destination. We went to a wedding where I met some great people. Most of them live in L.A. so I'll look them up when I get there.

F.E.A.R. 2 blew me away. Really engrossing, scary and never boring. I finished it the other day and it left me wanting more. I love a good story and I think that's the main motive for purchasing a new video game. I still have discipline problems. Time is important and video games are not a priority.

I should start my dream journal again. I always love remembering my dreams.

Reama's Birthday is this weekend and there's a CrossFit the movie showing on Sunday. But before that, D & D with the guys (and one girl). Best...DM..ever.

mindful self-indulgence

There's something about me that I haven't quite figured out. It concerns my emotions. I can be very detached if I want to be. In fact, it's possible I have a constant underlying emotional detachment that permeates my entire life. 

Maybe it comes from my desire to avoid pain of all kinds. Emotional pain in particular. If I never commit to anything emotionally, then I will never be hurt. 

Of course this means I will never feel things deeply. My emotional make up will be a mediocre landscape with neither mountain peaks or valleys. 

There's selfishness here. Self-centeredness. I don't want to care about anyone of help anyone. I'll never achieve anything worth achieving if I can't learn to live with, love, and work with others.

I don't do what I know I should do and I am dead until I can break free of the old life. It's simple but not easy. It's possible but not happening now.

War Jounral Part 1

The night before I left I spent at Keli's house. I had moved out of my apartment and all my stuff was in storage. We got up the next morning and drove down from Seattle to Fort Lewis. 

We were stopped at the gate and refused entry because Keli's car didn't have a base registry sticker. 

This wasn't how I envisioned my last morning in the U.S.

We drove down to the main gate in an attempt to get a temp pass. I don't remember what the problem was but we didn't get it. Keli was in tears. I thought we should just go back to the other gate were she could drop me off and we could say our goodbyes there. But when we approached the side gate for the second time and the guard saw Keli and I explained I was leaving that day, we were allowed thru. I was thankful for that.

Keli and I said our goodbyes. She was in tears and I remember glancing back twice as I walked away. She got in her truck and drove off. I don't think she looked back.

As it turns out we didn't quite leave that day as expected. There was some delay with the charter flight or something and we ended up having a few hours to kill. I borrowed my friend Taylor's forerunner and went into town. I got a smoothy and went to the movies. I saw Speed Racer. I know a lot of people don't like that movie but it will always have a special place in my heart. Aside from the fact that it was a well done film, it was the last movie I saw before my deployment. Around dinner time I came back and we loaded our stuff onto the buses bound for McChord Airforce Base. 

We didn't finally board our flight and take off until 7 am the next morning. 

Believe it or not, there are more than a few similarities between the acting industry and the Army. One of which is the concept of "hurry up and wait". In both  realms you'll be told to arrive at a certain place and time but you won't actually do anything until hours later. There are a lot of moving pieces. Sometimes it's amazing we get anything done at all.

The first thing that hit me when we arrived in Kuwait was the hot air. It reminded me of the Mojave desert in California where I grew up.

(continued in War Journal part 2)

A little note about my dreams

I'm hoping this will be the first of many blogs. The first thing: I'd like to record, for posterity, what I plan to do roughly one year after I get out of the Armed Forces. 

I will audition for Cirque Du Soleil. 

Everyone has dreams and this is one of mine. I will dedicate myself to training and I will not accept anything less that what I have set my heart upon. I know it can be done. all that remains is for me to do it. It will be difficult (maybe the most difficult task I have ever undertaken), but I will never be able to let it go if I don't at least try. I will give it my all and I will go for it. If I don't make it, then I don't make it. But I have to try. The rest is in God's hands. (Okay, it's ALL in God's hands. but I'm still the one getting out of bed every morning.

It's February 25, 2009 now. 

I will use the rest of the time I have to plan out how I will achieve my goal. Living arrangements, training schedule, classes to take, diet, rest cycles, mentors, teachers and trainers, every aspect that I can control this side of my ETS date (estimated term of service date OR the day I get out of the Army). Now, I still have a job to do. I still have military training to conduct and one more trip to get through before I can really start the separation process and begin completely focusing on Cirque. Until that time I will have to divide my attention on these two major pursuits: My job and my dream.

As for progress: I'm looking for a mentor, a coach, a trainer. I've never done anything like this before and I'd like someone there to guide me. This may not happen and I will prepare for that by building a library of information and organize it for practical use. I have to ask myself, "what do I want to do? What artistic discipline will I choose and how can I make it unique? How can I excel and give people something they've never seen before?" Right now I think Tissu will be the best choice. I've done it before and I like it. But there have been Tissu performers in Cirque in the past. How can I be different? Should I choose another art form? Either way, I'll be starting from scratch since I haven't performed in over 6 years.

There's a lot to consider. Hopefully I can use this forum to organize my thoughts and keep a record of my decisions.

On another note. I should also write about my experiences in Iraq. Though,  maybe I'll do that offline.